know you've been out of university too long if...
potted plants stay alive.
sex in a single bed is absurd.
keep more food than beer in the fridge.
AM is when you get up, not when you go to
don't volunteer for clinical trials at £20 a
know all of the people sleeping in your
TV does not include Richard and Judy.
bank manager doesn't write threatening letters any
carry an umbrella.
day benders are no longer realistic.
don't go to Tesco's with all your friends.
have standing orders and direct debits.
heating works in your house.
friends marry and divorce instead of get together and
pay the government thousands of pounds every
go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
and a jumper no longer qualify as 'dressed
get out of bed in the morning even if it's
up is not an annual ritual.
don't know what time the kebab shop closes
car insurance goes down and your car payments go
feed your dog Pal instead of McDonalds.
don't get ideas for drinks from local tramps.
don't put half finished curries in the fridge to eat
don't spend half your day strategically planning pub
no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when
in the lounge is a no-no.
can't persuade your flatmates to 'Drink till
don't spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.
always know where you are when you wake up.
no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.
and a movie = The whole date instead of the beginning of
go to the chemist for Panadol and antacids, not condoms
£3.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good
can remember the name of the person you wake up next
actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast
don't have mice living in your kitchen.
lists are longer than pot noodles & cans of
don't go to Liquor Save to buy Vodka.
the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.
just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never
drink that much again'
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for
real work. (????!)
don't get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a
can remember what you did three weeks ago.